‘You do it all on your own’: Message from an Indian tech based in Sweden strikes a chord online
Ankur Tyagi, an Indian technology professional based in Sweden, sparked a wide online conversation after sharing a candid reflection on the emotional and social costs of living in Europe. Contrary to many Indians’ glossy perception of the West, Tyagi said the reality is far more complex than clean air, smooth roads and orderly systems.
Tyagi, who has lived in the EU for five years, wrote that people rarely understand what it really takes to build a life abroad. “You do everything alone. You cook, clean, manage your bills, raise your children and fight the silence that hits you every winter,” he said, describing the loneliness that overshadows many immigrants in Europe. He says friendships in the West are “polite but distant” and community – a pillar of support in India – is “rare”.
Comparing life in India and Europe, Tyagi noted that while India has “corruption and chaos”, it also offers people’s comfort and closeness. “In the West the problems are different and they are deeper than you can explain unless you have experienced them,” he wrote, adding: “Every place has a cost. Most of us are just learning at what cost we can survive.”
In a humorous yet heartfelt signing, Tyagi announced that he was returning to Delhi on December 5. “F*** AQI whatever, I live in 10 AQI all year round. I need real oxygen now… from friends and family,” he posted.
Tyagi’s thoughts have resonated widely, especially among young Indian professionals who have to decide whether to go abroad for work or study.
“All places have their pros and cons. It’s up to us which pros we settle for,” one user wrote.
“I’ve always wondered why people are so afraid of being alone, what they call loneliness. In fact, urban loneliness is almost everywhere. That being said, it’s all about priorities; some want to thrive in solitude and others want to fill the void with the crowds,” said a second user.
“I know a lot of Indians who came back from abroad because they wanted someone else to clean their car, cook their food and clean their house,” added a third user.
“I stayed in the US for a few months and realized it wasn’t for me. I’m not saying it’s true for everyone, but I felt completely alone there. It’s something you can’t convey, but you said it well,” another user commented.
