Many years ago, my brother-in-law was renovating an 18th century house in New Orleans. As I spent the day digging through piles of moldy copies of Peanuts comics, I found a (still working!) 1950s-style big jiggler machine. From the Remington Beltmaster to the classic Shake Weight, many nifty fitness machines over the years have attempted to capitalize on the concept of dynamic inertia to help us tone up and lose weight.
Most human beings don’t like to move, even though moving is how you maintain muscle mass and, you know, how you stay alive. A vibrating device offers you a mystical promise: you can inspire yourself to exercise while remaining absolutely still, as long as you stand on, near, or hold something that vibrates! Violently!
In any case, it’s far from saying that for several weeks, I’ve been thrilling while watching Train to Busan and other zombie films. While I think the long-standing claims that you can vibrate to lose weight are mostly false, they do have real benefits.
To wiggle To wiggle
If you’ve never seen or heard of a vibrating platform, don’t worry, you will. Anyone mildly interested in fitness received advertisements for these products. At the moment, I am using the Merach vibrating platform. (I had the EZLife HitGo ($100), but it inexplicably stopped working about a month ago.) The Merach version seems sturdy and incredibly easy to install. Simply plug it in and insert AAA batteries into the included remote control.
The slim manual explains that there are five presets. You can also switch from manual to automatic mode, which will gradually increase the intensity over time.
The plate feels heavy and sturdy, especially for the price. It has silicone tabs on the top so you can’t slip, even though everyone in my family cheats and stands on it without shoes. The weight limit is up to 330 pounds, which is quite significant. (Several people in my family could hear each other at the same time.) This is the compact version, so it’s only 20.3 inches in diameter and about 5 inches high. It’s pretty easy to slide under the couch when I’m not using it.
Several vibration plate TikToks (I’ve done extensive research) note that you can start seeing physical changes in as little as 20 minutes of full-body vibration per day. I didn’t even have to wait 20 minutes. After two or three minutes, the skin on my thighs turned red and started to itch violently. It turns out that this is a known response to whole-body vibration, and it is likely a slight release of histamine resulting from the sudden capillary dilation. (I don’t feel anything like this on other parts of my body with a handheld massager.)
I run four or five times a week and I’m relatively active, but I’ve never experienced anything like this. After two weeks, I was working on the plate for up to 10 minutes at a time, but I can’t say I enjoyed any of the sessions.
There are plenty of vibration plate workouts online, depending on whether your goal is to lose weight, build muscle, or reduce the risk of falls. I chose to do my normal strength training routine at home, consisting of dumbbell lunges, weighted squats, and push-ups, all while using the plate. For what it’s worth, my fitness trackers don’t register any increase in heart rate when I do a strength workout on the plate versus off the plate, so I don’t think I’m burning any more calories than I would without it.
Squirm
Photography: Adrienne So
I was all ready to write about how this viral TikTok device does nothing more for you than get you out and take a walk around the block, and it really didn’t do anything for me other than give me a weird rash on my thigh.
