Kristen Bellthe message from, quoting her husband, Dax Shepardsaying he “would never kill her,” continues to spark outrage from domestic violence advocates who have called him tone-deaf and insensitive.
Now, experts are tackling the ongoing controversy, saying such remarks trivialize abuse and silence survivors.
Defense leaders are now urging Kristen Bell to apologize, support domestic violence shelters and raise awareness because her silence could damage her image and career.
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Kristen Bell Has Yet to Reply to Her Post About ‘Dark Humor’, PR Expert Says Her Silence is ‘Brutally Ugly’
Bell has yet to issue a public response or delete her now-controversial birthday post. She also skipped her scheduled appearance on the “Today” show on Wednesday, further fueling speculation about the effect of the backlash on her image.
Crisis management expert Eric Schiffer has now advised Bell to “drop the dark humor” and take responsibility immediately.
“The silence here seems brutally ugly. Kristen needs to own it and move on. Let people know she trivialized the abuse and apologize,” he told the Daily Mail. “I would also link the apology to a donation link and helpline information and let the action make the headlines.”
Addressing Bell’s responsibility as a public figure, Schiffer added that remaining silent “reads like ugly contempt.”
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Publicist Alexandria Hurley also described the message as “completely off-brand” for Bell, whose public persona is built around optimism and relevance.
“She needs to answer it clearly and quickly,” Hurley advised. “Silence in a situation like this amounts to indifference. A frank apology, acknowledging a lack of judgment and reaffirming support for survivors, would go a long way.”
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The actress’ message was called “tone deaf” and “insensitive” by DV Advocates
Bell’s silence amid continued backlash over her social media post only appears to add fuel to the issue, as more domestic violence advocates criticize the actress for sharing the controversial birthday post, quoting her husband joking that he had “strong incentive to kill her.”
“Happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me, ‘I will never kill you. Many men have killed their wives at some point. Even though I have a strong incentive to kill you, I never will,’ Bell wrote in the now-viral post.
The remark sparked outrage from survivors and advocacy organizations, who called it “tone-deaf” and “insensitive,” especially during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
As the controversy grows, experts warn that even jokes about domestic violence can cause lasting damage.
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Dale Margolin Cecka, director of the Domestic Violence Litigation Clinic at Albany Law School, said: The daily mail that Bell’s message risks trivializing “abuse” and “silencing survivors.”
“Even when presented as humor, comments about domestic violence normalize abuse and silence survivors,” she said. “DV is not a fall, it is a pervasive, life-changing problem.”
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Expert says Kristen Bell ‘joke’ highlights how offhand remarks can reignite survivors’ trauma
Cecka explained that many survivors live with lasting trauma that can easily be triggered by seemingly harmless remarks or jokes, especially when those comments come from well-known public figures.
“What may seem like a joke to one person may seem like a dismissal or minimization of real suffering to another,” she said.
Underscoring the broader impact, the expert noted that nearly one in three women killed in the United States die at the hands of their partner.
“The headlines are full of stories of women killed by their partners. This is far from being a trivial joke,” she stressed.
She added that “when high-profile figures downplay domestic violence, it sends a signal that fame or influence allows someone to avoid the social and legal consequences of abuse.”
Actress’ message shows lack of ‘understanding’ for real victims of abuse, expert says
Cecka, director of the Domestic Violence Litigation Clinic at Albany Law School, noted that despite the seriousness of Bell’s remarks, the actress can still turn the controversy into a moment of reflection and advocacy.
“It’s not about Kristen Bell, it’s just someone making what they thought was a stupid joke,” the expert explained. “But you wouldn’t joke about giving your husband cancer.”
She added: “So this joke speaks to a greater lack of understanding or appreciation for the real victims of domestic violence.”
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Expert says Kristen Bell’s message could make victims less ‘incentivized’ to escape from abusers
Cecka suggested Bell could make amends by supporting domestic violence shelters, many of which are struggling with funding cuts.
“She could use the opportunity to draw attention to the real numbers: women who are killed by intimate partners every year,” she suggested.
The expert also emphasized that the negative reaction is justified, noting that it is shocking coming from “a woman who would consider herself progressive or feminist.”
Danielle Pollack, policy manager at the National Family Violence Law Center at GW Law, echoed these concerns, noting that while dark humor can be used to downplay the “seriousness of domestic violence,” such comments can also “undermine the seriousness of these issues and the way domestic violence is treated.”
Pollack warned that when survivors see influential figures ridiculing abuse, it sends the wrong message and can make them “less motivated to escape their abuser.”
