Debra’s husband has a problem. He is addicted to sports gambling and has wasted almost a million dollars of his savings.
The 69-year-old Sacramento native called to The Ramsey Showexpressing her dismay and frustration – calling her husband, 79, a relentless gambler.
The couple have been married for 11 years and should be in a great place to enjoy their retirement. Early in their marriage, they had saved almost a million dollars together. However, Debra recently discovered that her husband had dipped into their accounts for gambling and lied about it.
The National Council on Problem Gambling reports that in the United States, an estimated 2.5 million adults have a serious gambling problem, and an additional 5 to 8 million have a mild or moderate gambling problem. (1)
“My husband has a gambling problem,” Debra said. “Our savings are down to $15,000.”
Debra is facing a serious personal and financial crisis, and Ramsey isn’t betting on what she should do.
“I can stop whenever I want,” Debra’s husband told her; However, this heartbreaking story is a clear example of how addiction can tear families apart.
While they consolidated their accounts after their marriage and were initially careful with their money, Debra’s husband eventually became evasive and she noticed red flags.
“A year and a half ago, what was sort of a warning sign was that I saw a late tax notice,” she recalls. “I asked, ‘Why are our taxes late?’ »
She started digging and discovered he had missed a tax payment. Today, she discovers that her husband’s credit score is 600, while hers is around 800, and despite his annual salary of $350,000, they have little money in the bank.
Worse, he doesn’t commit to getting help for his addiction; instead, he simply reduces his vice. (2)
“He said… ‘We can control it. We can keep it at $700 or $800 a month,'” Debra recalled.
Debra and her husband are not alone. The National Problem Gambling Council reports that the rate of problem gambling among sports bettors is at least twice as high as among gamblers in general. (3) Additionally, 45% of sports betting is now done online, and with the wide availability of apps, gambling addicts have temptation 24/7 in their pockets.
The financial loss from this easy access can be devastating, with Atlantic Behavioral Health reporting that gambling addiction results in an average debt of $40,000. (4)
The World Health Organization also warns that gambling can:
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Increase the risk of mental illness
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Increase the risk of suicide
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Driving families into poverty
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Causing the breakdown of relationships and families
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Increase the risk of domestic violence
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Increase the risk of crimes like theft and fraud
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Result in child neglect (5)
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Debra took the first step by separating her finances from her husband’s, but Dave said she needed to do more.
“You call a marriage counselor and you start talking to them. And you call someone who offers substance abuse counseling,” Ramsey suggested. “Both can give you a framework where you lead them to an ultimatum, and the ultimatum is: You quit cold turkey, you go to Gamblers’ Anonymous, and you go see a therapist.
“You don’t play a cent more, otherwise you won’t see me anymore.”
The best time to act is as soon as possible, or before the financial loss is substantial. Warning signs may include:
For those who find themselves in a similar situation to Debra and notice these signs in their spouse, Better Health recommends:
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Remember that you are not at fault and you cannot control their behavior
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Inform the player that he is hurting you
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Track all family expenses and take control of your finances
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Open a separate bank account
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Talk to the bank to make sure your house can’t be remortgaged
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Put your valuables in a secure deposit account
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Cancel overdraft protection on shared bank accounts
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Connect with others to support your own mental health (4)
Finally, as Ramsey suggested, you should stage an intervention and confront your spouse, providing specific examples of how their behavior is causing problems. Also work with them to create a strategy on how to combat gambling and the consequences of their actions.
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We rely only on verified sources and credible third-party reports. For more details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
National Council on Problem Gambling (1, 3); Addiction help (2); Atlantic Behavioral Health (4); World Health Organization (5); USC Suzanne Dworak-Peck (6).
This article provides information only and should not be considered advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
